BIG MAN ON CANVAS: Nikolai Valuev of Russia, left, and John Ruiz of the U.S. exchange punches during their WBA heavyweight fight at the Max Schmeling Hall last month in Berlin, Germany. Valuev is the tallest and heaviest boxing champion ever. Is this Rocky IV for real or what!?....."I must break you"

I say we get in touch with Mike Tyson and have him represent the USA in a title match. We could get Barry Bonds and Valco industries to juice him up. Think of the hair removal and body wax companies that would sponsor the event.